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Michael Jackson 1958-2009 ...Or Not

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By does this look broken | Posted Jun 25th 2009

7 Comments | Add Comment

Michael Jackson has died. I know. I'm upset too. If I can offer any consolation, I'm pretty sure that Michael is being put in some sort of futuristic cryogenic chamber as we speak. In fact, he and Walt Disney are probably going to be roommates for a while. Try not to think of it as death, but more like an extended hiatus from music, and living. I am 100% confident that there's a 49% chance he will be resurrected sometime around the year 3000, once the whole unfreezing process is, uh, invented. Hopefully it'll be some Benjamin Button shit, and he'll return as Michael Jackson circa 1982, back when he was younger, blacker, and before that whole pedophile thing. I look forward to seeing his comeback tour, maybe he will headline Coachella in the year 2968? Until then, we will have to cherish what he has left us. Thriller will be heard in every car, iPod, bar, and bedroom, in every corner of the world, as we mourn the loss of one of the greatest musicians in the history of the 1980s-1990s.

The world needs Michael Jackson. I need Michael Jackson. Now we just have to wait...

In the meantime, I wrote a song in his honor....

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
(chorus)
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
(skin flute solo)
(verse 2)
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
(chorus)
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
(air guitar solo)
(verse 3)
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson..... Michael Jackson,
(big finish, cue pyrotechnics, +3 encores)

...um, it sounds better with music.
  
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  • nitch says:

    4 months ago

    i hope they bring him back.... hopefully hes just faking all this and he'll return for the 30th anniversery of Thriller he's a good guy and didnt do anything he was accused of rip mike

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  • djberm says:

    4 months ago

    everybody wanna call michael a psycho
    but he aint ever rolled thru da hood wit a rifle
    -ice cube

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  • DaddyLikie says:

    4 months ago

    I wonder if he'll pull a TuPac and continue to release new music after death. Either way, R.I.P. MJ.

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  • ehawk7 says:

    4 months ago

    RIP King of Pop

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  • korndawg says:

    4 months ago

    i agree with her he was also a great musician/singer lol he doesent deserve to hear this from anyone yo mamma you are right these ppl are really fucking stupid

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  • Yo Mamma says:

    4 months ago

    Michael will be missed by alot of ppl...

    Not to go all chris crocker and shit..but

    all u ppl who say that he was a petifile and touched little boys...dont say it..
    You guys don't kno that..U guys hav never seen him touch little boys..u guys just say wat u here..Its stupid..Michael Jackson was a good guy...Let him rest in peace ..

    Reply | Abuse?

    • big risk says:

      4 months ago

      u know wat i don't give a fuck about him but i know he wasn't a petifile and he dosen't deserve 2 die ur right ppl r stupided these days

      Abuse?

    • big risk says:

      4 months ago

      R.I.P MICHAEL JACKSON

      Abuse?

    • big risk says:

      4 months ago

      i'm srry but the word petifile HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Abuse?