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These are some of our New Year’s anti-resolutions

Call it a to-don’t list, but this year, we’re over New Year’s resolutions. Rolling the calendar over sends so many people into a tizzy of “This is the year I’m going to be skinnier, and better traveled, and more interesting.”

But that’s BS. The new year isn’t gonna make you a better person, and vowing to go to the gym starting Jan. 1 has been shown to last until approximately Jan. 7. So this year, we’re over resolutions; we’re going to let go of some things instead. Here’s what we’re not going to do this year.

Drastically change our diet

kale
You’re not going to start liking kale all of a sudden, no matter how you dress it up. Photo: Courtesy of Shutterstock

Eating healthy is a great idea (We repeat: Great idea). Get down on some vegetables and some deep-water fish. Full support there.

But if you’ve been living on Uncrustables (and if you’re our kind of dirtbag, maybe you have been), there’s no way that switching to a Paleo diet, or whatever is trendy this week, is going to stick. All things in moderation.

Get the shot

anti-resolutions
Why not look at this instead of Snapchat it? Photo: Courtesy of Shutterstock

Sure, Instagram is a great way to show the world how rad your life is. But it’s also the fastest channel to fomo, and a way to keep your face in your phone when you could be, like, interacting with real people, or actually looking at the view you’re trying to capture.

So this year put your phone away and do stuff without worrying about how many “likes” it’s going to get. Same goes for other time-sucking apps. How many Snapchats do you really need to send?

Get crazy about exercising

exercising
Or get magically good at exercising. Photo: Courtesy of Shutterstock

CrossFit (Haven’t you all strained enough muscles yet?); One-minute workouts; Super ground-breaking shortcuts to perfect abs? Again, there are no quick fixes. If you want to commit to something, how about going outside more?

Stay at home

Nope. Not gonna. This probably counters all kinds of “be financially responsible in 2017” resolutions, but travel is arguably the most valuable thing to invest in.

Your mental health is important, and so is expanding your world-view. So this year we’re going to get out more. Even if it just means a few weekend camping or road trips.

Shower much

shower
A resolution we can get behind: fewer showers. Photo: Courtesy of Alexandra Zakharov/Flickr

We’d like to spend as much time as possible away from things like running water and Wi-Fi even (or especially) if that means getting a little grimy (and a little less connected).

Go helmet-less

A photo posted by Andy Bunting (@andrewpbunting) on

Ya dumb? Heads will be protected in every venue, whether that be climbing, biking or skiing. Maybe this is a good year to work on the helmet collection.

Lastly, here’s what we are going to do: Chill the eff out, say yes to stuff, ride bikes more. OK. Maybe resolutions aren’t so bad, after all.

Here’s to an amazing 2017!