It’s not the kind of award a kayaker would prefer winning, but kayaker Chase Nobles finds himself as a finalist in the Rider of the Year Awards for–drum roll, please–Carnage! Nobles was attempting to run Gore Rapid of the Colorado River when he found himself going for a tumble in nature’s washing machine. Watch–and do your best to ignore the “I Shot the Sheriff” song:

Actually, it’s a fine example of what not to do, both from the kayaker’s point of view and the rescuer’s. Plenty of commenters let their opinions on the epic fail be known on the Facebook page of The Rider of the Year Awards, which showcase the best videos from the world of whitewater. A few examples:

“World class safety, gotta love ur mates!”

“Buddy with the throw bag is just sitting hanging out. And then he still misses when the swim finally happens.”

“Throw bag epic fail and sitting right [opposite] him.”

“Definitely a win for worst safety. I mean geez. Watch dude struggle and then make him swim FOREVER!”

“After that swim: 1) catch breath, 2) retrieve gear, 3) find guy on the rock and punch him in the face.”

“I think we have a winner!”

Not exactly the winner Chase Nobles had in mind, we’re pretty certain.

If you ever find yourself in such a predicament–and with a friend oblivious to your duress–click here for some tips on rescuing yourself from class V rapids.