Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when

Your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid

You have to dig for her IQ!

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama so stupid she asked

You "What is the number for 911"

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama so stupid when

You stand next to her

You hear the ocean!

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing upYo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

1. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

2. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

3. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes"> Take me home with you.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

5. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no...) Would you like some? (if yes...) Want some more?

6. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

7. Do you have the time? [Gives the time"> No, the time to write down my number?

8. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!"> Do you want to do lunch?

9. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

10. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

11. I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince

12. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

13. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

14. For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

15. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.

16. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.

17. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

18. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.

19. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"

20. Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor

21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."

22. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

23. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

24. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!

25. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"

26. The only thing that matters is that we're together.

27. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

28. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

29. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

30. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

31. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

32. Say, did we go to different schools together?

33. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

34. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

35. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)

36. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar"> He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

37. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.

38. Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes? (female version)

or

Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers? (male version)

39. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.