I live everyday as my last for we are never promised tomorrow, There is not a second of my life I would ever undo, redo, or not do.. all the tears, heartache, pain, stupidity, has given me 44 wonderful years of smiles, joy, pride, and immense happiness... I love my life, I am happy here, I have a Husband who loves EXACTLY the way I am, he would lay down his life for me and our children. And they are as much his as they are mine... I have been blessed with incredible PARENTS, SISTERS, FAMILY, and FRIENDS and even to pretty good ADVERSARIES... Now by some peoples standards we are lacking ALOT, I have found over the years that my optimistic outlook is unique gift, and like other unique gifts it is not understood or share by most. I will say this I truly like always looking at life, people, and things this way. Some of my family from time to time have a VERY HARD TIME with this. I have been ridiculed, persecuted, teased, chastised, and condemned for it. At times my own family has held against me. Which I discovered I respond by feeling that I am under attack, something they do not realize that their actions invoke these feelings by me, I am not sure I realized it until recently. I have even tried to change but, its not me, I am done, take me as I am, love me for the unique person I am, or do not it is truly their loss, but don't try to change me. I am happy the way I am, I LOVE MYSELF, I LOVE MY LIFE. This year I have decided to STOP apologizing for who I am, how I am, I am done with this it only leaves hurt and pain for all, especially me. My outlook is just this.... Where there is a will, there is away. I believe we are Judged by what is in our Hearts, not what our hands do or our mouths speak. I have a smile in my heart ALWAYS, I hate no one, there are many negative things that have happened to me and those I love and have been many people who had selfish and evil agendas cross our lives. Most prefer to think of these people and things as MISTAKES. I see them as lessons and necessiies to put us in this moment right now. I embrace these people and things, where most shun them. EVERY SECOND EVERY DAY GOOD OR BAD AS PUT US IN THIS MOMENT....HOW COULD ANYONE WANT TO CHANGE ANY OF IT? MY LIFE is wonderful NO it has not been without sorrow, pain, mistakes or a lack of understanding. There is a purpose for every second of it, and though we may never know what those purposes are. Here is an example I do not like to use, but one I feel may help all understand me. No I don't like my Father's illness, or the pain it has caused my mother or our family, but there is a purpose, a reason, and I don't know why but I have always had peace with it because I know there is a purpose. So this is my life I love it always have always will. I take every mishap, every problem as part of a greater plan and I am not in charge of the design.