“I bet the doctor he couldn’t fit more than 20 stitches. He won.”
I love to go fast and jump down big stuff, but I always jam my big toe into the end of my shoe taking the bails. It bruises up, turns black, and falls off. I’ve lost my big toenail a dozen times. It’s nasty.
Filming for my first video part for Endless Grind’s Kings of Cacka I was overexcited. I tried a nollie b/s flip down this set at NC State and snapped my ankle. I came to the premiere on crutches and had the best time of my life.
In NH I was having a going-away party and everyone I knew from my hometown was there, my family was barbequing, and we were all jumping off the pool house into the pool. On one dive I went in too shallow. I banged my head on the bottom of the pool and floated up in a pillow of blood. I got dragged out of the pool and got, like, 15 staples in my head. When I came out of the ER everyone from the party was there waiting for me. Good people. After that accident I decided to grow my hair long to hide the 3-inch Mercedes symbol scar on the top of my dome.
I was skating my garage in the winter one time and fell forward and hit my face on a motorcycle. Something was sticking out of my lip so I pulled it out. It turned out to be my bottom canine tooth. I ran inside and my mom told me to put the tooth in my mouth so it wouldn’t die. I didn’t know teeth were alive. My neighbor was a dentist and fixed me up. That tooth lasted almost 10 years before it decayed and I had to have the last pieces removed. Now I’m toothless, but I’m debating getting a chrome-dipped one to put in there.
Pizza America in NC has the best late-night pizza deals in town. I must have spent a million dollars there. One night I was a bit buzzy, bombed the hill for some grub, got swervy and flew onto my face. My chin exploded so bad that the guy wouldn’t give me pizza unless I went to the hospital. Some kid drove me and I bet the doctor he couldn’t fit more than 20 stitches. He won. The worst part was getting them taken out. The doc used black stitches and I hadn’t shaved so he couldn’t distinguish the stitches from my facial hair. I shed a tear for every hair lost.
I was dancing around this club in Barcelona doing the Rain Man when I heard some commotion beside me. Trying to be a peacemaker I got myself into the middle of it and some dude popped me in the face and took off running. Before I even realized what happened, blood was pouring out of my face. Some chick stuck her tiny pinky fingers up both sides of my nostrils to straighten out my nose. It still isn’t completely straight. That dude must have been a Spanish boxer or something because that was one good punch. I want a rematch.
We were all watching the news at school and I lost track of time and realized I had to get home quick to study. I rode my bike home as fast as I could. Coming around a bend, I slammed into a car backing out of a driveway. I tried to get up, but my knee was messed up. The driver called 911, but I was in shock and wanted to skate later that day, so I signed a release and went home. Reality struck when I couldn’t get my pants off because of the swelling. I called 911, and the same ambulance came, laughed at me, and took me to the hospital. I shattered my tibial plateau and got reconstructive surgery. I still have a metal bar with four screws going all the way through my tibia. The doctor did a great job. I was skating in eight months, and it still feels great today.
I was trying to get buck with a lipslide down this big rail in Barcelona when I stuck in Smith and cleared the whole set straight to my hip. I thought I broke my hip and a couple of ribs. I got X-rays and was somehow OK, but that fall still haunts me as my worst skate injury.
At a party one time, I broke a broom stick and a piece flew up and sliced my eye. I instantly went blind and my eye filled up with blood so badly we couldn’t tell if it was still in the socket. After looking around on the ground for my eyeball, my friend jammed his finger into the socket to make sure my eye was still in there, which it was. My eyesight came back after a few months. I still get crazy light flashes, but I don’t really notice them unless I pay attention.
During a fight with my girlfriend, I punched her car. The second I hit it I knew I had broken my hand. The cops came and threatened to arrest me, so even more angry I got into her car where we fought some more. Just before my house, I jumped out of her car going, like, 30 mph. I somehow bailed professionally, just got some scrapes. After I cooled down I went to the hospital and got casted for a broken knuckle. The car I hit still suffers the scar from my pissed knuckles.
I’ve never had a swellbow drained but it’s gonna have to happen soon. I got a lil’ buttcheek on my elbow and I somehow can’t avoid falling on it. It feels like a peeled hard-boiled egg with wet yolk in it, but it’s fine with me.