Skate Anatomy: Chet Childress

Chet Childress

Left side

Fractured kidney:
While visiting Woodward Extreme Boogie Board Camp, I slammed my elbow into my kidney. Next thing I know, I’m pissing blood clots. Spent four or five days at the hospital and wasn’t allowed to leave the camp for a week. Had to break out due to gay-ass Rollerbladers and nasty-ass food. Haven’t returned since.

Fake-ass tooth:
Tried to bust a Howard slide and flew space cowboy to my grill—BLAM!


Broken urethra:
Tried to get streetacle when I was 13. While trying to boardslide some rail, my foot slid off the nose—BLAM!—dick to rail. Pissed blood and ended up having a catheter for six weeks. The doctor said I wouldn’t be able to have kids. He lied.

Brain disorder:
No job for 10 years, traveling the world, lots of ganja, a couple broads, some trife life team managers and large amounts of brew have taken their toll on my memory. So…

Cupcake holder:
All these years my brain has been working, working so good it seems to have burned some hair off the top of my head. Damn, getting older is a bag.

Busted-ass grill:
I hate the dentist. I don’t want anyone touching my grill with some sander.

Stitches in chin:
Too many scorpions to explain.

Right Side

Crooked-ass arm:
I was born with two bones in my arm grown together. I can’t turn my wrist in certain directions. I’m gonna scope a
handicapped plate for my car one day.

Broken ankle
: On my first 151 tour I sat on my ankle. I stayed on the trip for a week hoping it would get better. Well, my whole leg turned purple. One night I took some mushrooms from this hippie, and the next thing I know I’m walking around. The mushrooms cured me. As they wore off, I was in pain. I went to the hospital, had to have surgery and scored a tight-ass scar.

It’s a little jacked from running down big-ass trannies. Pads are a bag; I just want to cruise, sucka!