Little Green Men Abduct Surfer From Crowded LineupNathan Yeomans was speeding down the line at his local break when, in mid-backside air, the laws of gravity appeared to come undone. Nate explains, “A powerful beam of light sucked me right into the mothership!” While he remembers little of his “close encounter,” he vehemently denies he was fitted with an anal probe, “They were friendly little beings, like E.T. We surfed the cosmic waves of the universe.” Nate’s friends tell a different story: “He just got held under a little too long.” Although the actual story remains undetermined, his surfboard has yet to be found!
The Frog-Man Surfeth …Move over Spider-Man, there’s a new superhero in town. Frog-Man has been sighted along California’s coast leap-frogging (no pun intended) from break to break. Not only can he pull crazy airs like the upside-down Superman, he checks for dings at the same time! “The superhero business has become much less lucrative following the downturn in the economy-so I started a ding-repair business,” says Frog-Man. Although Frog-Man swears his diet only consists of flies, he’s been spotted checking the surf at some of Flea’s local spots.
Overzealous Surfboard Embarrasses ProDuring a recent afternoon surf in Laguna Beach, California, pro surfer Mike Losness had what onlookers described as “a real nightmare of a session.” Eyewitnesses both on the beach and in the water were taken aback by Losness’ departure from his usual amazing performance. A young man, who asked not to be identified, said, “Mike looked out of sync with his board.” The man went on to report that at one point Losness’ body did a clean four-foot frontside air, but his board did a seven-foot kickflip, landing perfectly back in the transition without its rider. When questioned about the incident, Losness didn’t hesitate to blame his board, which he referred to as “insolent and possibly ‘on something.'” Mike’s board refused to comment.