The wheels of time roll on as staggered moments are paused, captured, and shown in all of their beautiful obscurity. Here are those moments, and here are the stories they tell.-C*
The ArgumentBarney and Flea had a little argument one day. Flea told Barney that he could do bigger airs than him, and Barney was all, “Dude, I’ll air over your head, bro.” Flea quickly retorted with a Flea-esque, “Sha right!” Barney pumped his little heart on his next wave, and spied Flea scampering onto his wave. Barney discovered a little section and proceeded to ollie over the cranium of the Flea. Flea screamed, “Barney! Oh, Barney! You fly like a bird, and you glide on the wings of an angel!” Barney landed safely and paddled back out to Flea. He put his hand on Flea’s shoulder and said, “Flea, I think we can both do high airs.” Then they hugged and rode tandem on the next set wave.
Salesman Rescued From Rough WaterOne of the premiere ad salesmen from the country’s third largest leading surf publication, Surfing magazine, was rescued from rough seas in San Clemente, California last week. The ad salesman (name withheld) was bodysurfing in two-foot seas off T-Street and became swept out approximately twenty yards offshore. He panicked and screamed for help-evoking an air rescue. When asked to comment, all he said was “Dude, I was just all, ‘Dude, that wasn’t irie.'”Extreme Water EntryThe normal contest format was thrown out the window during the Red Balls Pro in South Africa this weekend. The new format was a departure from the three-to-the-beach format of the past-points are now scored for length of board, shoe size, hairstyle, stance width, and most importantly, the entry into the water. Here, a contestant climbs down a fifty-foot cliff and then down to a submerged rock and waits for a major set. When the set finally came in, he switched his leash to his left foot and did a full somersault egg-roll to whitewash floater. It was the highest scoring entry of the day until Larry Hamilton executed a complete backflip, landed on a rock, did four belly spins onto a sea urchin, and then swaggered into a foam-ball El Rollo-awesome!
Superman Hoax Proven TrueOnce believed to be a kook from the mid-west, Superman was never considered as a threat to the ASP World Title-that is until now. In this untouched and unmolested photograph, we see the actual man of steel flying effortlessly through a tube. Superman has since ditched his cape and tights for a pair of surf trunks. The rumors of Superman’s entry into the surfing world were started as a joke in a surfing pamphlet handed out at a “grom” surf contest where Superman was seen as a sheepish cartoon. This angered the man of steel, so he vowed to prove to the world that Superman is real and he knows how to get barreled, do airs, and even reach a youth-oriented surf market.