My New Year’s Resolutions
- Actually surf sometime soon instead of checking it and realizing it’s too cold for a little baby like me.
- Go on a surf trip somewhere more than two miles from my house, maybe even take an airplane.
- Learn to fly on airplanes without getting shit-faced.
- Try a few turns instead of succumbing to my horrible Air Try Disorder. I just need to realize that my fat ass will never do airs like Taj Burrow or Andy Irons.
- Fix that ding on my rail instead of just putting stickers over it that fall off and pollute the ocean.
- Learn to enjoy my growing double chin otherwise known as my hot dog chin.
- Stop going to the bar at lunch.
- Give two hugs a day: one to a woman, one to a man (but just in a friendly non-sexual, non-grab-ass way).
- Get to work before ten a.m. everyday.
- Keep kicking Surfing magazine’s ass issue after issue.