Crank Call: Bobby Martinez

Once again with the help of TransWorld’s office manager, beautiful Juliana Jabbour.

Bobby: Hello?

Hi, is Bobby in?

This is Bobby.

Hi, Bobby! This is Samantha Richards calling from Prosports dotcom. How are you?

Good! How about you?

Good. Listen¿do you have a few seconds?

Yeah.

We have a new site that’s geared toward female fans of pro athletes. Would you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?

Who is this?

Samantha from Prosports dotcom.

Uh, okay. Okay, sure.

What’s your favorite color?

Are you serious?

Yeah.

This isn’t Samantha.

No, no, no. It’s …

Nooo …

It’s geared toward female fans. We have a bunch of girls and we asked them what they wanted to know about pro athletes.

Like female cheerleader girls?

Girls in general. Girls from all over the country.

Is this Becca? This isn’t Becca is it?

Who?

Becca?

Samantha.

Okay. Seriously … what’s my favorite color?

Yeah.

Okay. I thought you were a friend who was messing with me.

No.

I don’t know. Blue, or something.

Who’s your favorite band?

I like Tupac.

Tupac. Nice. What’s the diameter of your chest? Do you know?

The what?

The diameter of your chest.

I have no idea. Who is this?

This is Samantha from Prosports dotcom.

You’re so full of shit, dude! This is not Samantha laughing!

This is! I’m calling from Prosports dotcom!

I don’t believe you, whoever this is. Who is this?

Why don’t you believe me?

Because.

I’m serious. There’re only a couple more questions to ask.

Yeah, right.

How fast do you run the mile?

How fast do I run the mile? Like a couple seconds or something.

A couple seconds? Are you sure about that?

Yeah, yeah.

If it’s a couple seconds, are you thinking about entering the Olympics?

I was, but I want to give those other guys competition.

I see, I see. Just a couple more questions, yeah?

Okay.

What’s your shoe size?

Who is this? My shoe size?

Yeah.

I’ve never bought shoes before. I always go barefoot all the time, so I don’t know.

You’ve never bought shoes before?

No.

You just always get hooked up?

Well, I don’t have that much money.

I don’t know about that.

Who is this?

It’s Samantha from Prosports dotcom.

Uh-huh.

Do you prefer blonds or brunettes?

Do I?

Yeah.

I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter.

It doesn’t matter? Do you have a girlfriend now?

Naw, I don’t have a girlfriend.

So you’re single?

I’m single.

Do you mind if we give your e-mail address over the Internet?

Hee-hee. Who is this?

It’s Samantha from Prosports dotcom!

How do you know my e-mail address?

I don’t know your e-mail address. I’m asking you if you would mind, and if you said, “No, I don’t mind,” then I would ask you for your e-mail address.

What’s your e-mail address?

Laughing Samantha at Prosports dotcom.

Okay. Samantha?

Yeah. At prosports dotcom.

Okay. I’m going to e-mail you.

Wait! I’m not done, though.

Okay.

Describe your ideal date.

My ideal date?

Yeah.

I don’t know. I haven’t been on a date in a long time.

Why’s that?

Because no girls like me. I have bad luck with girls.

Aww, don’t say that! See, this is an opportunity for you to meet girls.

I don’t know about what I’d do for a date. What would you do?

What would I do? It’s not up to me! You’re the man! You have to pick up the girl¿you have to have this set in your mind!

I know, but they don’t come to me that fast. I have to plan it out a little bit. I don’t know, actually¿I have no idea.

You don’t know what your ideal date would be? Would you pick her up, take her to the beach, and maybe go surfing a little bit?

No. No way! I would never take a girl to the beach.

You’d never take her to the beach?

Well, no. Not for the first date!

All right. Well what would you do? Take her out to dinner?

I don’t know. Dinner and a movie. Something.

Nice. Nice. There you go. This iis the last one. Do you like French kissing?

Do I? It depends on who it is.

Or do you like to cuddle?

Do I like to cuddle? Are you sure you need this stuff for people to read?

I’m serious! We’re putting this up on the Internet. These are questions girls wanted us to ask pro athletes.

I like it all. Put that I like it all.

All right.

It’s all good.

Thank you, Bobby.

All right.

I’ll call you back and give you the date when it’s going to be up. Do you mind if we gave your e-mail out over the Internet?

No. I’m going to e-mail you first, though.

You’re going to e-mail me first?

Yep. Samantha at Prosports dotcom. I’m going to e-mail you first then.

All right. You take it easy, Bobby.

You, too.

Okay.

Bye.