For this issue’s installment of the infamous Crank Call page, we’ve pulled the wool over the eye’s of yet another unsuspecting victim. This time we tricked surfing’s funny man Brad Gerlach into believing he was finally getting a chance at TV stardom. Read on and bear witness to the solid human foundation known as The Gerr.
Brad: Hal-lo.Sweet female voice Hello, may I please speak with Brad Gerlach?
This is him.
Hi, Brad! My name’s Rebecca Finch. I’m calling from West Star Productions. How are you doing today?
West Star Productions, huh?
Snickering What can I do for you?
Well, it’s actually a pleasure to be talking to you. I’ve been reading a lot about you in the surf magazines lately.Uh, huh.
We have a little project coming up we think you’d be perfect for. Let me tell you a little bit about it: We’re shooting a pilot for a four-part television series for the Fox Network. It’s about a young high school student who wants to be a pro surfer. Right now, we have Frankie Muniz-do you know who he is?
He’s from the show Malcolm In The Middle.Umm, no. I don’t watch that much television.
Oh, he’s hilarious. He’s slated to play the part of the kid. We’re thinking about using you to play the part of the surfer who the young kid wants to be like. You know, an older, mysterious surf-guru type.Oh, uh-huh.
Basically, we’re looking for a head shot of you and a short description of yourself, because we’re still trying to pitch it. I’m meeting with the producer and the director soon, and I’d really like for you to be part of this project.Giggles When would you be shootin’?
You don’t even know, you still have to pitch it, right?
Yeah. At this point, if you could just write a short paragraph about being a mysterious surfer and send us a head shot, I can give you a callback once I’ve pitched it to them.Ahh … okay. Yeah, let me think about it. What should I do?
I’m going to give you an address where you can send the stuff. Do you have a pen and paper?
Send it to: West Star Productions at Wilshire Communications in phony address. Label it “Care of Bobbie Patterson.” I really want you to be a part of this, Brad. I’ve been reading a lot about you, and you look like you’d fit the role perfectly. I hope you really give this some consideration.So this is like a TV-show idea?
What is it you say?
Yeah, it’s a four-part television series for Fox. We want to shoot the pilot in a month-if I can get everything worked out. It looks like it’s going to be totally awesome.Uh, sorry. When did you say you’d start shooting it?
Hopefully in a month.Well, I’m going to South Africa on May 20, and I’ll be gone ’til the tenth of June. Yawning So, uh, would it be shot in like a week or something?
Yeah. The pilot should be completed in two days. I really think we could work this out-we could work around your schedule.How’d you get my number?
Benji Gilholm from Fresh Jive gave us the number.Oh, okay. Did you see that I ride for Fresh Jive?
Yes, I’ve been reading a lot about you. I’ve been reading about a lot of different surfers, but you look like you’d fit the part perfectly.Did you read my interview on the Fresh Jive Web site?
No, I haven’t gone on their Web site yet. What’s the address?
Just go to freshjive.com, and there’s my interview. I kinda interviewed myself, so …
That’s great! We can show that to the producers, too.You could print that interview out, plus there’s a head shot on there, too. I don’t know if I have a head shot. I’m not really … commercial.
But that’s what were looking for … someone who’s new and raw.
Yeeeaaahhh, uh. I think I’m pretty cool-well, I don’t know. I like to imitate people laughs. I’ve always done that since I was a little kid. People always go, “Dude, you should be an actor,” and I’m like, “Nah”-I don”t know.Actually, the acting part sounds like it’d be fun, I’m just not too into the fame part of it. I don’t mind being famous in surfing, but outside of surfing, it’s kinda fruity. There’re so many weirdo people out there. That’s why I’m a little reluctant. I actually like acting-my grandpa was an actor, and I’d like to do some serious stuff in the future when I’m an old guy or something. I love that whole side of it, but we’ll see-whatever. It’s pretty easy to talk me into things-if it’s the right thing for the right reason.
Well, I’ll look at your interview on the Web site and give you callback after I show it to the producers.Could you look up the Web site and then give them what’s written there?
Sure, I’ll do that and show it to them. Okay, thanks.
Thank you. Okay, bye![IMAGE 3]
CALLOUTS”I don’t mind being famous in surfing, but outside of surfing, it’s kinda fruity.”
“It’s pretty easy to talk me into things-if it’s the right thing for the right reason.”