Crank Call: Bron Heussenstamm


Bron Heussenstamm is one of our favorite people—so he’s been a Crank Call target for a while now. When we called Bron, he was in L.A. looking for a new house with another one of our favorites—Dave Pinto. Ten seconds after the crank call, Bron called us back asking if we had just crank-called him—Sorry, Bron, we did, but it wasn’t funny until you called back asking if we crank-called you.

Hi, is Bron available?

This is him.

Hi, my name’s Brett Rondell—I’m calling from MTV. We’re having our beach house in Malibu this year, and right after the U.S. Open of Surfing we’re throwing a party with some professional surfers for the final episode of Surf Girls. We’re wondering if you’d be interested in coming and hanging with the girls for a summer beach-party show.

Where did you get my number?

I actually got your number from Surfing magazine. We asked the surf girls to make a list of their favorite guys, and your name was up there. A lot of them said Kelly Slater, too—but he can’t make it.

Oh yeah?

I’m going to ask you a few things, because we’re going to be introducing everybody, kind of like on The Dating Game.


What’s your best surf move?

You guys don’t want me to come up and meet? You want to do all of this over the phone?

Well, we want to do a little bit over the phone. Maybe even on speakerphone.


So what’s your best surf move?

Um, I don’t have one.

So we should just put all of the above?


What’s your favorite band?

Jack Johnson.

I like Joe Jackson, too. You’re from Laguna Beach, is that right?


What’s your favorite surf break?

Um, Thalia Street.

Okay, and we also have Nelly and DJ Scribble that day—are you familiar with them?


Do you have any favorite songs from Nelly?

Uhhhhh, Nelly’s whole album is pretty good.

I agree. He’s very talented. I like that thing he has on his face. Have you seen the Surf Girls series at all?

I have actually. I try not to watch it, but I live with a girl and she watches it.

Is there any one of the girls on there who is your favorite?

I don’t know. I’ve only watched that show for maybe five or ten minutes.

Maybe you should pay more attention to the shows your girlfriend likes.


Is this the best number to reach you at?


Thanks a lot, Bron. We’ll get back to you.

Ten seconds after we hung up, Bron called the TransWorld office.

Bron: Hi, Chris, did you guys just try to crank-call me?

Chris Cote: Uh, I don’t know, I don’t really do that anymore. We have a new guy who does it.

Oh really. If it was a crank call, it wasn’t even funny. And it sucks because now whenever someone from, like, MTV or whatever calls, we’re all weird to them ’cause we think it could be you guys messing with us.

Oh yeah, sorry. I’ll find out if my guy called you.

You should. It’ll be a stupid crank call if it was one.