Interview Of The Week: Ketchup With Noodles

Noodles, how’s life bra?

Life is so good, not as many of those twenty-minute heats getting in the way of a good time. I thought that I would really be missing the CT about now but the truth of the matter is that I don’t at all. Would rather be dragging my dick though dirt than waiting around 8 days for Bells to start. Right now I’m a surfin fool. Free as a bird, and happy as Larry.

What’s the latest and the greatest with you Noods?

New Merrick’s, Libertines records and a Mercedes Benz.

Have you been playing some music lately?

Yes I have, and very poorly in fact. My band, “200% Awesome” is destined for failure.

Any band, live or dead, who would you want to play with?

Right now I’d wanna play with the Kings Of Leon. There would have to be some fanny kicking around backstage, though. Did you know that in Australia, “fanny” actually means “cunt”?

The TransWorld SURF office has been cranking you and Ozzie’s hit song, “Hawaii.” Is that what it’s called? How did that song come to pass?

Well to start with, the title of the song is “One Lame Surf”. The song came to pass because we were in Hawaii and it was the first time in years that Oz and I had properly got time to hang out. And being good old mates from way back, the excitement of the situation created a surge of creative juices that began flowing from every orifice. We decided not to waste this juice by depositing it into a dirty sock or by spilling it on bed sheets, but to in fact pool it together and turn it into a cocktail of sound. So in the wee hours of a starry North Shore night, “One Lame Surf was born. The next morning gave birth to the music video. And the rest is history brudda……..

Where has Noodles been sessioning lately for surf?

Like I said mate, I’ve been a surfin fool, I’m the horniest I have been for surfing in years. I have been back to Hawaii twice and am now looking at a third. Have had fun waves at Byron, the Goldy, Iluka, the South Coast, the Central Coast and here at home of late. Shit I have been surfing lots. I had a surf at this spot on the Central Coast the other day with Kelly, cause he has been kickin’ around (and for a bit of a name drop of course, oops) and it was fucking crazy, such an intense wave. I never even knew it existed and it’s only an hour from my house.

You have a wildcard for the WCT at Fiji, who do you want to beat the most?

I actually don’t really care about who I beat too much. This year I will be going there more for fun and to enjoy the contest. Fuck getting all nervous and uptight. Will save that for next year when hopefully I will be back there competing for ratings points.

Tell us about your role in the upcoming Globe movie.

Well, I play Satan and my task is to entice the Hobgood’s to smoke heroin and have promiscuous sex with wanton women. Nah, jokes. The treatment is still kinda getting tweaked. But it really looks like it’s going to be cool and super fun to make. I think we are about to kick off filming this week? Am excited to go surfing with all the boys.

If you could spend ten minutes invisible in the bedroom of any woman on earth, who would it be?

Ten minutes? Dude, that’s just a tease. And invisible? Gimme a break. I want to be standing there like Davo (Chris Davidson) with a big horn saying checkout this clothes rack! But to be honest, I ain’t that brash. Just let me into Scarlotte Johanssen’s room so I can watch her sleep.

What are you going to do today? Tomorrow?

What ever I want mate! It’s a good life.

We love you.

Love you too.