Letters – September 2005

I’ll be the first to admit that my last month’s Letters column was kind of a piece of shit. I don’t know, I guess it was very flacid and uninspiring. The one before was good, with that crazy librarian Nazi. Anyway, here’re a few witty retorts (hopefully) to our readers’ letters.-C.C.

Why!
Why must you print “Santa Clara Rivermouth” in your articles? Why can’t you leave the low-profile spots unnamed? It is exactly publications like this that cause people from hundreds of miles away to come in droves to my home break. Have some f-king respect. You all were respectful in the same issue for the spot in the “Lesser Antilles,” a spot that people don’t drive to in droves, and a spot that shines more often than (spot name omitted but you already named it) in Ventura, tools.
Name Omitted
Ventura, California

I hate it, too-but it’s the pro surfers’ fault. Yep, those bloodsuckers invite photographers to shoot photos of them at your break, and we, as the employers of the photographers, have to run the shots or the photogs won’t be able to feed their children and the pros won’t get free stickers. We usually don’t name “low profile” spots, but Santa Clara Rivermouth being a photo-slut haven seems to break maybe one month a year. So when the millions of kooks show up, it’ll probably be bad anyway. Everyone hates seeing their home break’s name in the magazines, but that’s life, and life sucks sometimes.

All Surfers Are Not Lesbians
Just looked up an article on the Internet about Mundaka. I live in the United Kingdom, fancy a surf trip somewhere close by, and wanted some info. But I am not interested in “hot honeys” or “se§oritas”! Has it never crossed your mind that not all surfers are male (or lesbians)? Also, thank f-k they don’t have McDonald’s in Mundaka. Let me in there! Surely the whole point of going abroad is to experience a different culture and try new cuisine. You may just as well stay at home! I also learned from your “article” that lying about being a surfer won’t get you any “se§oritas.” You don’t say! Nor will being a chauvinistic, unadventurous, McDonald’s craving asshole!
Catherine
United Kingdom

Ah, you must be referring to our Destination feature about Mundaka from January of 2004. Well, contrary to your own popular belief, you do not rule the world. Some people, male or female, would like to meet someone of the opposite sex, whether they be heterosexual, homosexual, or, in your case, asexual. Another thing, saying there’s no McDonalds is a way to say, the food is different than in America. Please don’t go to Mundaka-the people there are so fun, laid-back, and cool that your stick-in-the-mud attitude will just bring them down. Go somewhere boring, you’ll fit in better.

Average Joe And Son
I really like the fact that you run the Average Joe, less than Average Joe, kook, barney, and family photos in your mag. My son Tyler and I are, sending these photos in hopes of making it in the mag. Tyler is throwing a shaka at Riviera Street in San Clemente and Dad is slashing at Macca’s in Indo! More bros, less pros! Keep up the good work.
Tyler and Tom Vetrees
Newport Beach, California

Good letter and great photos. This is what I’m talking about-fun photos of good people. Here you go, Tyler and Tom’s first surf shots.

Surfers Beware
I just got off the phone after an unbelievable conversation. I have two tickets to Costa Rica on Martin Air for this coming June. And guess what, there’s no room on the flight for my boards! Isn’t that freaking terrific! First they told me I couldn’t take my 9’4″ longboard because its ten-foot bag exceeded their limit. Then I told them I have three boards for two people, but I can’t take them in the one case, even though the size of the case doesn’t change. Only two boards per bag. Well, I’m doing Martin Air and hopefully you a big favor-don’t fly Martin Air. Avoid the hassle and fly TACA, like I have to do now. All this hassle and I’m barely going on a rreal surf trip-its Costa Rica, for crying out loud. I can’t imagine what will happen when I’ve saved the money for an adventurous trip.
Dislocated Danny
Orlando, Florida

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: I hate flying, I hate airports, and I hate dealing with crab-ass baggage people. Most of them are really cool, but now and again, you’ll get that shit-heap of a desk jockey who has a complex. Just be nice and try to be patient. If they give you too much shit, ask for their manager and ask to speak in private. This really freaks out the pricks.
Thanks!

I’m thirteen and I love to surf, although I just had foot surgery and can’t for a few months. I just wanted to say that the people who don’t follow this quote (The best surfer in the water is the one having the most fun) shouldn’t be surfing at all. I also want to say your magazine blows away Surfing. Thank you, your magazine got me into surfing-I owe you.
Danny Westcott
San Diego, California

I agree. If you’re not surfing for fun, you shouldn’t be surfing, and yes, it’s obvious we do blow away Surfing magazine.

Where’s Shawn Briley?
I was stoked to see the article on Justin Postin because I grew up surfing Mission Beach, watching Taylor Steele’s movies, and frequently seeing Postin out at San Diego’s best-kept secret spot. At the same time, I was a pretty big (fat) grom and was amped on Shawn Briley’s antics on the North Shore-especially at bombing Pipe and going left at Waimea. I moved to Hawai’i about a year ago to go to school at U.H., and I didn’t see Briley once this past winter. Finally, last week, after a small Gas Chambers session, I saw him at the Turtle Bay pool with his kids. I was real pumped and got super nervous, like I was a little kid seeing his hero. I was just wondering if you could do an article on him, like what he’s up to and if he still surfs.
Thanks.
R.G. a.k.a. “The Honolulu Haole”
Honolulu, Hawai’i

Congratulations on your chance encounter. A couple years ago, I saw a rather unfit Briley paddle out at Pipe and pull into the wave of the season. He came in after that one wave, yelled to everyone on the beach, “Mad skills!” and walked away. We’ll try to track him down soon, but in the meantime, enjoy his little brothers surfing-Kalani Chapman has been blowing up!