Noteworthy

 

The Blue Crush Phenomenon

Girl surfers begin hitting the waves en masse.

If your local break seems to have suddenly gained a large female contingent, you’re not alone. While only a couple years ago you’d be hard-pressed to find one girl out in the water, the summer of 2002 seems to have been struck by the “Blue Crush Phenomenon.”

While the surf industry remains mixed in its opinion of the film, box-office totals are speaking for themselves. The film opened on August 16 at number three and grossed 33.6-million dollars in its first three weeks in theaters. It appears that Blue Crush will soon be the top-grossing mainstream surf film, passing up Point Break, which took in 43.2-million dollars during its box-office run.

The movie, which chronicles the lives of three female surfers residing on the North Shore, has crammed surf schools full of aspiring young rippers. Cody Steele held a sign-up session for his Del Mar, California-based Code Red Surf School outside a theater on the day Blue Crush was released. “After the movie, the kids were freaking out,” Cody laughs “They all wanted to go surf on the North Shore.” The next day he received numerous calls from Blue Crush moviegoers inquiring about his camp. The trend looks to be widespread. According to Isabelle “Izzy” Tihanyi, founder of Surf Diva Surf School, enrollment for 2002 is expected to reach 5,000 students–double the numbers Surf Diva saw last year.

Retailers and distributors of surfwear and accessories are feeling the effects as well. Jessica Trent Nichols of Billabong USA, who appears as herself in the film, says, “The rashguard Kate Bosworth wears in the movie trailer with the Billabong logo wasn’t part of the (Billabong) line before. Because of the movie, we’re adding it to our line due to the interest we’re getting from retailers about that specific product.”

While the lineup may start resembling lines at Disneyland if the trend continues, the influx of beginners isn’t what is tripping most people out. The sport seems to have been infiltrated by girls who can, gasp, actually turn! Have they been in the water all along? Apparently, unless scientists have begun to breed an über-chick with the ability to learn to surf well in one week. Have these surfers been motivated to get in the water more often because of the movie, or has the movie just raised everyone’s awareness of the girls being there in the first place? Whatever the reason, we’re going to have to get along, boys and girls. So, the next time you see a girl paddling for a wave, think twice before dropping in–they might just be able to make the drop.–S.P.

Fox Giveaway Winner

Congratulations to foxy lady Marissa Buchanan of Carpinteria, California. She’s the winner of the Let’s Talk Story Fox Giveaway (Volume 4, Number 6) and will receive a bunch of sweet Fox gear. Marissa figured out Kalani Robb’s birthday (February 2, 1977), his nickname (Rock), and came up with a clever tale about how Kalani got his nickname.

One day, I was sitting on the sand at the beach, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I saw Kalani Robb running full-speed ahead. Then I saw why he was running. A mob of girls was chasing him! I yelled over to him, and he turned his head to see who it was. I guess he didn’t see the rock sticking out of the sand in front of him, and he tripped over it. I started to laugh hysterically when I noticed he wasn’t getting up.

What happened next was even funnier. Remember the mob of girls chasing him? Well, they finally caught up to Kalani, and after seeing that he was knocked out, they ripped off all of his clothing. Yes, even his boxers! When heame to, he realized what had happened and turned bright red. I offered to call 911, but he said it wasn’t necessary. I personally believe he had a concussion and was just embarrassed–he didn’t want the entire surfing community to find out.

The next day, I told everybody as I was sitting out in the lineup. The story got around quickly, and everyone started calling him “Rock.” (Oh yeah, the girls were really old women in bikinis, so I don’t blame him for running away.)

Congratulations, Marissa! One question, though–wouldn’t you be running after the Rock, too?

File: Notworthy

A Brand-New Way To Smash Your Nuts!

The Boogie Jet is a great way to smash your nuts if there’re no hammers or rocks readily available. We’ve never actually tried the Boogie Jet, but having the wind knocked out of us and smashing our balls isn’t our idea of recreation. Better yet, let’s say your nose pearls, and next thing you know, your teeth have met the metal handlebars at high speed. How fun! I can go over the handlebars of my ten-speed anytime I want, thank you very much.

Barking Locals Just Plain Suck

It’s one thing to have Joe-Pro local guy yelling at you for snaking him. But if the yeller is a totally inept, pigeon-toed dickhead who can’t even ride down the line–this is a problem. Tough guys who bring their act into the lineup should be forced to ride soft boards. Surfers young and old: If the yelling, whining local barn is messing with you, snake him, then snake him again. Just be sure you can paddle faster than him. Spraying these guys in the face as they paddle out is extremely rewarding as well.

File: Newsworthy ASR-The Outsiders

 

 

The Outsiders

ASR Nicknames à la Riptide.

The unofficial winner of the “Check That Guy Out” award, Vancouver Slam City Jam MC Renee Renee (nickname: Riptide) wandered the isles of the San Diego ASR trade show, throwing shakas and chatting up the ladies. He’d also created a pretty elaborate list of hilariously stupid nicknames for the entire Malloy family and a group of pro surfers, skaters, and industry heads he referred to as The Outsiders (pronounced “Oot-siders”):

Dan MalloyStingray

Chris MalloyEastwood

Keith MalloyScorpion

Emmit MalloyCanoe

Colee MalloyShorebreak

Colee’s boyfriendCloseout

Timmy CurranHot Tuna

Rob MachadoSideshow

Tom CurrenGod

Kelly SlaterJesus

Danny WayClutch

Bob HurleyStringer

Paul GomezEl Niño

Blair MarlinWater Wing

Scott SoensCondor

C.J. HobgoodBaywatch

Damien HobgoodOmen

Benji WeatherleyHurricane

Mick FanningBlowtorch

*Note: Riptide wanted to add that some of these guys don’t even know they have nicknames, and he’s willing to change them if need be.

File: Surf Slang

Surf Slang

Walden Woods–Walled and closed-out wave conditions.

Example: “The tide was so low out there it was fully Walden Woods. “

Baruce–How to describe a super good maneuver on a wave.

Example: “Damn Pete, that slash you just did was so baruce. “

obese–A new way to say something is super rad.

Example: “Dude, that cutback was obese.”

medicinal–A surf session that washes away all the bullshit of a hard day.

Example: “I’m gonna need a medicinal today because work sucks.”

urgle–The sound whitewash makes when you duck-dive through it.

Example: “I thanked the whitewash for the sick urgle it gave me.”

eelie–When your wax is slippery.

Example: “Oh, man, my wax is super eelie today.”

INXSed–Getting strangled by your leash.

Example: “That was so scary. I just got INXSed after that last wipeout.”

Star Wars Broisms

Broba Fett–Your bro who hunts down chicks.

Example: “When Joe sees a chick he wants, he becomes a total booty hunter–he’s Broba Fett.”

Brobi Won Kenobi–A bro who’s always in position for the peak.

Example: “Josh must be using the force again, he’s gotten every good set wave today–he’s such a Brobi Won Kenobi.”

Broda–The older, wiser bro who’s always teaching younger bros a lesson.

Example: “Dude, I was getting killer tree barrels on Neptune, when Broda said the elms on Grandview were way more tubular.”

C3Pbro–The bro who does everything his bros say.

Example: “I totally told Chris to wax my stick, and he did–he’s our own C3Pbro.”

Chewbrocca–Your big, hairy bro who yells a lot and protects you. Example: “I can snake anyone when my bro John’s out–he’s my Chewbrocca.”

Hans Brolo–Your bro who rips and surfs by himself.

Example: “I saw Pete surfing by himself at River Jetties, doing killer slashes–he’s a modern day Hans Brolo.”

 

 

 

 

hit of a hard day.

Example: “I’m gonna need a medicinal today because work sucks.”

urgle–The sound whitewash makes when you duck-dive through it.

Example: “I thanked the whitewash for the sick urgle it gave me.”

eelie–When your wax is slippery.

Example: “Oh, man, my wax is super eelie today.”

INXSed–Getting strangled by your leash.

Example: “That was so scary. I just got INXSed after that last wipeout.”

Star Wars Broisms

Broba Fett–Your bro who hunts down chicks.

Example: “When Joe sees a chick he wants, he becomes a total booty hunter–he’s Broba Fett.”

Brobi Won Kenobi–A bro who’s always in position for the peak.

Example: “Josh must be using the force again, he’s gotten every good set wave today–he’s such a Brobi Won Kenobi.”

Broda–The older, wiser bro who’s always teaching younger bros a lesson.

Example: “Dude, I was getting killer tree barrels on Neptune, when Broda said the elms on Grandview were way more tubular.”

C3Pbro–The bro who does everything his bros say.

Example: “I totally told Chris to wax my stick, and he did–he’s our own C3Pbro.”

Chewbrocca–Your big, hairy bro who yells a lot and protects you. Example: “I can snake anyone when my bro John’s out–he’s my Chewbrocca.”

Hans Brolo–Your bro who rips and surfs by himself.

Example: “I saw Pete surfing by himself at River Jetties, doing killer slashes–he’s a modern day Hans Brolo.”