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With the North Shore of Oahu suffering under bad winds yet plenty of swell, Kaleo Roberson made the call “Get over here brah! It’s on! That was all that I needed to hear and booked myself on the next flight to Maui. I didn’t go to stalk my ex-girlfriend (contrary to some people’s opinion), smoke a ton of Maui wowee, or drink poolside with tourists. True, there were cheerleaders falling out of the sky naked, but we were there to surf. Specifically, we were there to surf a wave that Kaleo had told me about that resembles Teahupo’o, rarely breaks, and has a twenty-foot “uncle (tiger shark) that guards the place. Sounded like a blast.

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Fueling up in Paia with Tai Van Dyke, we ran into Laird and Double D (Derrick Doerner), the pioneers of tow surfing and first-time ballot surfing hall of famers. Derrick got to talking with Tai, and described his latest surf out at Jaws. “It makes me sick. There are so many idiots out there it’s crazy. The other day I lost my board and when I got to the beach some Brazilian was trying to mongoose (steal) my board! That’s how out of control tow surfing has become; a fellow tow surfer would steal the board of the father of the sport. Doerner is a happy go lucky guy though and told us that he had been surfing all kinds of waves by himself and was pretty stoked about that. Before he left, Tai told him where we were planning to surf and Double D got a gleam in his eye and said to us “Stick it brah! Not stick it where the sun don’t shine—stick the drop, charge, go hard; Derrick Doerner style.

We got the call from the cliff-top check spot—six feet and draining. After a smoke filled, twisting and turning ride, we arrived to see Morgan Mullen get spit out of a bomber. After stumbling over a cobblestone trail, jumping off rocks and paddling for twenty minutes, we had arrived. The wave actually did look like Teahupo’o—with an easier drop, deeper water, and three times longer. Sai Smiley got wave of the day honors with a twisting six-footer that barreled the length of the wave with Smiley deep inside.

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Tai Van Dyke said it himself, “The first guy ever to get his board off the rocks from XXX was a f—king haole from Encinitas! Yes it’s true, my leash came untied and my nearly new 6’6 was dry-docked on the boulder-strewn shoreline—yet miraculously in on piece and begging to be rescued. If it was a shitty board or I had more of ’em I would have shined it, but this was my baby and I had to get her back (the board and yes, the girl). After getting rag-dolled in the car-sized boulders I somehow made it on top of one of the larger ones where I was safe from the surging water. All scraped up and sitting on top of that rock I felt like I was the star in a “Rescue 911 type of show. After gathering myself I made it to my board, got back out there and summed up the damage, two loose fins and some scratches, minimal considering where it went. Got the board back—still working on the chick though…(anyone know a good shrink?) Tai, Kaleo, Tom Dosland, and the rest of the Ho’okipa crew were all ripping and must be thanked for sharing their spot with TransWorld Surf. Tai let us sleep on his couch and had some classic one liners such as; “Dad don’t laugh too hard—you’ll shit your pants again! Tai is classic and full of the aloha spirit. Lastly, next time you go surfing, think of Derrick Doerner and “Stick it! You won’t be disappointed.

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