Here’s Dave’s winning design that could be the future of wetsuit technology and design…
Click on image to enlarge!
Shark Shield Strips
While the current E-Bomb pinstripes are very fashionable and make for great photos, I suggest integrating the electro-magnetic Shark Shield technology within the stripes. The added protection will increase confidence whether you’re in Nor Cal or South Africa.
ATS Timepiece + Surfline Buoy Reader
Sewn into the wrist will be a Rip Curl ATS timepiece that features a satellite-linked Surfline Buoy Reader. The buoy reader will let you know when and where the sets are coming so you’re always in the perfect position.
The Chest Camera
Utilizing CIA mini-camera/microchip technology, the future E-Bomb wetsuits will feature a sliver-like video camera that takes first person-oriented footage. We’ve seen enough groovy tube action! We want to see what it looks like to be mighty Mick Fanning!
Magnetized Ankle Cuffs
In the future, due to the lack of resources available, all surfboards will be made from recycled automobiles (after the oil market goes in the shitter). To compensate for the unfortunate weight gain caused by the steely contraptions, the new E-Bomb will feature highly-magnetized ankle cuffs ensuring that you and your metallic stick are never too far apart.
This technology, while not available yet, will further extend the amount of time spent in the water. What we will need is some sort of membrane (most likely given to us by aliens) placed on the ass-panel of the suit that transforms your turds into fresh-smelling wax. Instead of scrambling back to the parking lot to pinch one off in some bacteria-infested public toilet, just do your business in the lineup and Presto! Fresh wax! Will most likely solve several environmental problems as well.