In volume two, issue eightWe had a contest that was great.If you wrote a short poem about meatYou won a box of Slim Jims to eat.
Our first winner, Bryan BaumgartWrote us a poem that came from the heart:
BeefMy girl loves beef jerkey, but I am broke.I let her eat my scabs,but they made her choke.
She loves beef sticks, too when they are free.Her favorite one belongs to me.
She loves Slim Jims,mild or hot.She loves them Super Slim, but mine is not.
So hook me up with your shload of meat.It makes me horny, and she’s in heat.
The next poet to write about meatis Chris Culver who lived off jerky for three months,A quite amazing feat:
Lips and assholes Cheeks and tonguesBits of spleen and chopped up lungsSquished and smashed in transparent tubesThey taste the best after a coupla dubes Slim Jims, the best beef jerky madeI’m gonna buy some when I get paid Unless, of course you like my rhymeMy Slim Jim itch’ll be scratched in time.Keep on surfing but don’t come hereThe crowds a joke, but if you do, bring beer!
The last winner of allIs Brandon Purtle Who broke his wrist in a fall.His Mom helped him write this downWhen he gets his jerky,He’ll go to town!
The beach is where I want to be,The waves are what I want to see,Imagining those Slim Jims,A whole box just for me!I can taste that jerky in my mind, I can hardly wait ’til it’s surfbreak time.
I see my mom up on the sand,Is that beef jerky in her hand?I hope she doesn’t eat it all,before I reach the sand.The lifeguard on the left.The chickies on the right.They ate all that jerky,Now there’s none in sight!
Congratulations to all the winners,Hope you like your Slim Jim dinners!