Surf Slang 4.3

This month we employed our friend and surf-slang scientist Zachary Keenan to break down some of his strange language techniques.In order to keep your tight-knit crew of bros up to speed on the current state of affairs at your local beachbreak, you’ll need to have some secret codes of surf slang that are so undercover, no one can figure out what your posse’s program is all about. It’s all about the morphing technique, which involves using certain abbreviations of code words combined with others to make new ultra-deep-cave stealth code words and phrases.-C.C. Zachisms

festival-Surf session.Example: “Let’s get the festival on before the wind comes up.”

widgit-A fake turn on a crappy wave.Example: “I’m not going out there! All I’m going to do is a widgit and end up hurting myself.”

freight-train-liquid-vortex-Barrel.Example: “We’re straight out there! It’s just freight-train-liquid-vortex world!”

Now morph “festival” with other surfisms to create stealth tactics:

nugfest-A session in fun wedging ramps at your local beachExample: “Hey, don’t tell anybody, but yesterday was a full nugfest at the spot, bro.”

widgfest-A session in crappy waves where all you do are widgits.Example: “I can’t believe I went out this morning. It was just a complete widgfest.”

kegfest-A sick session of perfect barrels.Example: “Blacks was such a mental kegfest this morning, I couldn’t believe it!”

time travel-Flying through the barrel.Example: “I think Josh got a couple years younger after that last time travel, he was in there so long.”

baby ramp out-A small air.Example: “That guy had so much speed, I was expecting something big and all he did was a baby ramp out.”

Manning slabs-Grace under pressure in heavy barrels.Example: “Taj was just manning slabs at his secret West Oz reef break.”

More Slang

creepy creedle mission-Lining up some girls.Example: “I don’t think I’m going to surf early tomorrow. It is all about the creepy creedle mission tonight!”

creedle into some sectors-Hang out with hot girls.Ex: “Hey Matt, let’s get the crew together tonight to creedle into some sectors.”

Leads Channel-The guy who makes you think he’s surfing by sitting in the channel, but never takes a wave. Example: “Have you seen Robbie catch a wave yet? I haven’t and I keep paddling by him in the Leads Channel.”

Leads Check-The guy who leads you on that he’s checking the surf, but never actually goes out or has a board in his car. Example: “Is that Robbie in his car?” “Yeah, he must be doing another Leads Check.”

seminar-gnar-A bro who drops into every filthy wave to show off for his friends. Example: “Oh wow, man! This morning Matt Miller pulled into ten perfect barrels; he was putting on a seminar-gnar at 24th Street!”

Uggy-Like eggy, but a description of a dude violating the unwritten rule of never wearing Ugg boots in public. Example: “I was so eggy this morning when the surf went flat, but now that Tom showed up in his Uggs I’m totally Uggy.”

Broisms

Brogi Bear-The bro who always steals your lunch. Example: “All I know is that I came in from my sesh and one of my bros was eating my lunch-he’s a total Brogi Bear.”

Bro J. Simpson-The bro who gets away with murder. Example: “Dude, I totally snaked that big local and he didn’t beat me up. I feel like Bro J. Simpson.”

Bro Jackson-The bro who’s good at everything. Example: “Josh beat me in a heat yesterday and golf today. He’s good at everything like Bro Jackson.”

Brolice-Cops who surf. Example: “Uh oh, Officer Frank’s paddling over here ’cause I snaked that longboarder. He thinks he’s the Brolice or something.”

Fidel Castbro-The local who thinks he’s so local he can act like a dictator. Example: “Dude, I can’t surf Five-Four, Joel might catch me and act like Fidel Castbro.”

Mean Bro Green-The extra-large bro who’s mean to everyone in the lineup. Example: “Why’s that big guy on the longboard groaning at me? Who does he think he is, Mean Bro Green?”

Shaquille Bro’Neal-Your bbro who’s really tall. Example: “Who’s that tall guy doing airs on the 6’8″, he looks like Shaquille Bro’Neal.”