Weekly Rant?November 18, 2002
Obnoxious Facial Expression Ruins Session
While surfing with a few friends out at our local spot, a man spastically surfing on a bright-red longboard shot a ridiculous facial statement in my direction. I was just sitting there minding my own business when this guy sat up next to me, looked me right in the eye, and contorted his face in the most horrible way. His face looked like he was simultaneously making a failed attempt at shitting his pants while taking a swig of a rotten beer can that had been sitting in the backyard for a week. I stared back in wonder as the man glared at me and squinted his eyes. He looked like he was about to throw up.
There we were ? two men starring at each other. One man (me) had an innocent morning grin, the other, an obnoxious facial scene. The standoff lasted for about a minute. It was a tense and troubling experience that will be with me for at least a few more months. A wave came in, and the man with the horrible face caught it and went in. I sat there for a half hour and wondered what I had done to ruin this man?s morning. After a short reflection, I realized I had done nothing. His facial attack was of his own invention. He owes me and his poor face an apology. No mere piece of flesh should be subjected to what his face went through that morning. I can only hope that next time, that man keeps his face to himself.