How To Be a Mermaid

Although the authorities at NOAA recently asserted that “no evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the clever minds at 3-Fins could have you fooling your more gullible friends. For $250, you can order a custom-fit, functional, mermaid-style tail that will have you ditching your legs in no time. It’s essentially a mono-fin with a lower body sleeve made of swimsuit fabric. The tails are available in three colors, all of which sparkle in the sun.

Photo by 3-Fins
3-Fins creator says the tails were “inspired by my three daughters and their love of all things mermaid.”

3-Fins may be seeing a spike in interest coming on the tail of NOAA’s rather unnecessary announcement that mermaids are not real. The statement, released on their website in early July, was prompted by an Animal Planet show exploring mermaids, which apparently sparked a flurry of hopeful queries to the government agency.

Of course, making swim tails for those born without them is nothing new. If you prefer to emulate a less mythological creature, and look a little more adult, the folks at Finis have competition-ready mono-fins for those wanting to work on their dolphin-kick technique. Finis’ mono-fins will probably get you across the pool faster, but they’re not available in pink. And you’ll have to apply your own glitter.

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