The List – July ’03

10 recurring statements and what they really mean:

1. Statement: "He lets his skating do the talking."
Translation: He possesses no social skills whatsoever.

2. Statement: "What happens on tour stays on tour."
Translation: Everyone slept with a hooker.

3. Statement: "It wasn’t about who did what, where, and when."
Translation: Nobody landed anything.

4. Statement: "They parted on good terms."
Translation: They are in the middle of heavy litigation.

5. Statement: "Not to sound like I’m jocking him too hard…"
Translation: I want to have his children.

6. Statement: "It’s more of a soul-skating video."
Translation: The video has no good skating.

7. Statement: "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Translation: Can I have my board back, sir?

8. Statement: "He has a great work ethic, a real workhorse"
Translation: He has no natural talent.

9. Statement: "Honestly, I’m glad he quit."
Translation: I really wish he never quit.

10. Statement: "I don’t want to get into all the politics of it."
Translation: I am afraid of Mic-E Reyes.

34 tricks that are named after people:

1. Bertleman Slide-Larry Bertleman
2. Elguerial-Eddie Elguera
3. Caballerial-Steve Caballero
4. Smith Grind-Mike Smith
5. Smith Vert-Mike Smith
6. Miller Flip-Darrell Miller
7. K Grind-Eric Koston
8. Barley Grind-Donny Barley
9. Grey Slide-Jim Grey
10. Yo-Yo Plant-Yo-Yo Schultz
11. Phillips 66-Jeff Phillips
12. Ty Slide-Ty Page
13. Ty Hop-Ty Page
14. Ollie-Alan "Ollie" Gelfand
15. Gatair-Mark "Gator" Rogowski
16. Willy Grind-Derek Williams
17. Primo Slide-Primo Desiderio
18. Losi Grind-Alan Losi
19. Nightmayer-Danny Mayer
20. Madonna-Madonna
21. Sean Penn-Sean Penn
22. Lien-Neil Blender
23. Christ Air-Christian Hosoi
24. McTwist-Mike McGill
25. McHawk-Tony Hawk
26. McEgg-Mike McGill
27. Andrecht-Dave Andrecht
28. Sal Flip-Sal Barbier
29. Howard Flip-Rick Howard
30. Mute Air-Chris "Mutey" Weddle
31. Todd Twist-Todd Jacobs
32. Ollie North-Oliver North
33. Jatton Slide-Tony Jatton
34. Disaster-Duane "Master of Disaster" Peters

Bryan Herman’s eight favorite couches to crash on: *
1. Andrew Reynold’s-he buys me dinner whenever I stay.
2. Justin Regan’s-he can order you shoes from Emerica, direct.
3. Jimmy’s, from Ruca-he lives close to the Volcom park.
4. My friend Jeremy’s, from Palmdale-he’s got a miniramp.
5. Spanky’s-he has nice parents.
6. Mic-E Reyes and Lindsey’s-you get to skate the City.
7. Mike Burnett’s-we went to eat at really cool places, plus he skates
all the time so you get to skate cool places.
8. Any hotel will do, too. SB

* Bryan Herman is currently homeless.