4/18 Kew’s Corner

Face it: at some point in your life–maybe even when you woke today–you’ve had a fleeting fantasy involving the lure and seduction of a nubile lass on some remote, tropical atoll.

For me, this actually happened–not the seduction part, because my game was lacking–but when I flew to Manihiki in the Cook Islands, a drunken father immediately began offering his supermodel nineteen-year-old virgin daughter to me.

Direct from a South Seas romance novel, the stuff of any man’s fantasy, this guy’s daughter was the sexiest, most beautiful island girl possible. Flawless teak skin, a fine-featured face, emerald eyes, perfect smile, thick brown hair down to her lower back, ornate black pearl-and-shell jewelry, bikini-topped and well-endowed.

Her hourglass figure drew my eyes and imagination from her face down to her chest, her smooth brown dancer’s belly, to her sarong-draped hips, toned legs, and manicured toes. These were textbook beauty features–most girls long for them, many work for them, some create them, and others are born with them.

Her fleshy temptation gnawed through me, a slave to carnal male desire. So sultry was she, so accessible, so tantalizing, so…irresistible.

Yet it was not to be. She was too innocent, too pure. The whole thing was too…inconvenient. She had no passport, no airfare, nonfluency in English, and I had no place to take her once deplaning in Los Angeles.

So, dear reader (assuming, of course, that you are a single male), what would YOU have done? (And don’t tell me you’d tutor her in English.)

E-mail your answer and the reason why to: kew_is_dumb@yahoo.com

And stay tuned to transworldsurf.com!