Da Hui Backdoor Shootout Drinking Game And Contest Update
We’re six days into the holding period for the 2013 Backdoor Shootout, and Mr. NW is still a no show. Which is okay, because it means I get to enjoy the relative peace of my Haleiwa hermitage, rather than wading hip deep into the masculine hierarchy that is professional surfing.
On the team roster front, still no news. The official word is that the lineup is still fluid, meaning that no one has any idea who will be in the water when, and if, the event runs.
In the meantime, I’d like to take this opportunity to propose a new drinking game for those of you fortunate enough to enjoy the, still theoretical, contest from the air conditioned confines of your home, rather than the scorching hot, shade free anarchy that is the Pipeline beachfront.
I call it, “The Homoerotic Chugfest.” The rules are simple, every time the announcer says something that can be inferred as referring to the love that dare not speak its name, you take a drink.
Phrases to listen for:
“He really took a pounding at Backdoor.”
“Coming out after the spray.”
Every single reference to “hot Backdoor action.”
“Driving deep through a Backdoor pit.”
Any mention of a surfer’s “Backdoor expertise” or being a “Backdoor specialist.”
Please, though, keep the alcohol content minimal. I don’t want to be responsible for dozens of deaths by alcohol poisoning.--Rory Parker