Epilogue – 4.9


Answers Never GivenInterviews are scary for some people. Some guys give great answers, but some hardly answer at all. The following are answers no one gave, but should’ve …”Surfing sand dunes on finless old 70s boards is cool.”
“Riding a skateboard down the street with a surfboard on top of it is cool, too as long as you make slashing sounds when you carve the sidewalk.”
“My friend Nedwin bodysurfs with baby seals off the coast of Morocco sometimes.”
“Do you own a watch?”
“This guy Sean called my roommate and asked him if he’d ever tried swimming.”
“I shit on that guy, that’s why I can act like this.”
“You call that a question? That’s a slap in the face, buddy.”
“If I could breathe underwater, I would charge Mavericks, or Waimea Bay.”
“I don’t know why I smell like that.”
“The jerk store called and they said they’re all out of you.”
“I’m gonna leave now.”
“You can print that shit in your magazine, but then I’d have to kill you.”
“So what if I beat the meat pole lightly?”
“My influences include the Girls Gone Wild series and old episodes of Designing Women.”
“Secret agents get to dress cooler than surfers.”
“Frisbee kicks a ton of ass over Hacky Sack.”
“I saw the raddest surfing cat yesterday.”
“I do ride bikes and unicycles, but my dream is to hover two feet above the ground and float from place to place.”
“Don’t mess with those guys, they’ll kill ya. Are you recording this shit?”
“What the f-k did you just ask me?”
“Word, I feel the same-ass way, dawg.”
“Oh thanks, yeah, I cut my own hair.”
“Sit on it, Ralph Mouth.”
“That was the first time I shit myself, but definitly not the last.”
“I know, these pants always make my ass look fat.”

There you go, these answers were never given, so use them whenever and as frequently as you want.-C.C.