It's 11:00 p.m. on a weeknight, and whatever is going on with swell predictions and the thoughts and dreams of tomorrow's waves are not in peoples minds at the moment. Stationed at a team house above Off The Wall is an Austrian princess, her body moves like an experienced exotic dancer. Many of the who's who of the Top 44 are amongst the folk frothing over this graceful, curvaceous, olive-skinned Scandinavian princess. Eventually, someone opens his wallet and breaks the ice, smoothly slipping a dollar under her panties. This action opens the floodgates, and soon it's raining small notes and change. After her performance, she asks for a lighter, and men who don't even smoke start breaking bones to satisfy her request. This craziness carries on for five nights.

This winter, the North Shore has been swarming with a wide variety of available young girls willing to do whatever's necessary to return home with a story worth telling their friends. North Shore groupies tend to be travelers from abroad, and this year Aussie chicks have been leading the charge, though Western Europe's sole representative has kept the contest interesting. From exhibitionism to tales of wild orgies, the stories about her from the months of November and December would leave even the most clued-in of modern mothers unable to ever get a full night's sleep again. Why? Is it to grab a little slice of the fame these guys have managed to obtain? Or are they trying to give new meanings to expressions like “getting worked at Pipe”?

Whatever the reason, they keep coming back, and we have yet to hear anyone complain.–Tommy Hershell