Music Reviews

What's In Josh Hoyer's Beat Box?

HypocrisyObsculum Obscenum

CarnageDark Recollections

MorticianHouse By The Cemetery

At The GatesTerminal Spirit Disease

SlayerGod Hates Us All


Provisions, Fiction and Gear


I hate it when moths leave holes in my sweaters. For that reason, I wanted to mothball Moth after listening to it for the first time. Just kidding–the CD actually grew on me as I listened to it more and more. The recipe for their sound is an eclectic, straightforward, harder-hitting rock version of Modest Mouse meets The Flaming Lips, marinated in a Built To Spill and Guided By Voices sauce. Weezer fans might like some of the numbers. This CD contains lots of whispering and tiptoeing contrasted by bone-crushing rock chomps and voice raising. –AC


The Shutdowns


Theologian Records

What exactly does the title of this CD mean? Is it one of those subliminal license plate spellings like “PLYAH8R”? Or is it something to do with the girl tied up on the cover? Who knows? I bet it stands for a new strain of herpes–”Oh no, you got the T-75?” Anyway, The Shutdowns play punk-rock music. The kind of music that makes you get creepy and acquire a venereal disease. If you like fast rhythmic punk that sounds like Pennywise, then you'll like The Shutdowns.–AC

Dan The Automator

Wanna Buy A Monkey?: A Mixtape Session

Sequence Records

It's not surprising that Dan “The Automator” Nakamura's name is rarely the seen alone on a CD cover. As the mixer/producer/mastermind behind projects like The Gorillaz, Deltron 3030, and Dr. Octagon, his knack for bringing out the esoteric alter egos of innovative underground rappers like Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and Kool Keith puts him predominantly behind the scenes.

Wanna Buy A Monkey is not just a conduit for Dan The Automator to demonstrate his exceptional skills as a producer, but in his own words, “This is a chance for people to get a look into my head.” This CD is an ingenious mix of hip-hop, featuring gems by Black Rob, The X-ecutioners, Dilated Peoples, and Bobby Digital, and spacey electronic pop, with tracks from Lovage, Tortoise, and Air. This CD combines some of the lesser-known music that Dan has been a part of, along with some of his personal favorites that he wasn't involved with. This is truly a mixtape–there's no need to skip songs. Just slip it in, kick back, and listen all the way through.–Stacie Perry

Charlie Parker

The Gold Collection

Deja Vu

This is not barely-audible-above-the-gurgle-of-espresso-machines-at-some-cliché-coffee-shop jazz. This is the kind of jazz that can, well, make you feel like you drank about ten of those espressos. Charlie “Bird” Parker is an icon. Rising to fame from Kansas City, Missouri, where he first picked up the alto saxophone, to the smoky clubs of Harlem, where he became the bebop jazz great he is, Parker is a legend like Bob Dylan or Woody Guthrie. His experimental and supposedly less respectable form of jazz music transcended the deep color lines of the 40s and 50s. Two years after his death in 1955, Beat writer Jack Kerouac, who was obsessed by Parker's talent, would publish On The Road, whose spontaneous prose was a reflection on the spontaneous saxophone playing of Parker. Spontaneity is the essence of bebop jazz–bebop is something not easily explained, but when you hear it, you'll feel it.–Tim Dowell


Satoshi Toomiie

Global Underground: Nubreed


Satoshi who? Wake up! Right now, Satoshi Tomiie is one of house music's hottest producers. When his hit single “Love In Traffic” first dropped in 2001 on John Digweed's Global Underground: Los Angeles double disk, it threw a curveball to those who thought they knew what was on the cutting edge of house music. No one could've predicted that such a dark, moody, sexy, progressive sound would generate such a huge trend in the production of house tracks. This very song elevated Satoshi Tomiie to hero status among producers and DJs alike. This double CD is nothing less than spectacular. From African tribal drums and deep spacey grooves to sexual whispers and dark Indian chants, this CD will move you. But as Dom Phillips says of Tomiie's latest masterpiece, “It'll be good, it might make you emotional, but please–no tears!”–Pete Taras

Andrew WK

I Get Wet

Island Records

The cheesy portrait of Andrew WK on the back of the CD case, resembling a cross between Fabio and The Undertaker of WWF fame, should've given me an omen of the absolute crap to come. This CD is completely devoid of anything resembling musical talent–no, seriously. The only record I could come close to comparing it to is Hulk Hogan's horrendous foray into the music world, Hulk Rules, but even that was more creative than Andrew WK's first full-length album.

The format is: play some really bad music accompanied by a loud keyboard, then repetitively scream the words to the title of each song over the “music” (to use the term lightly). I made it through track number eight entitled “Party Til You Puke,” mostly because I was astounded by the fact that people actually buy this CD. At that point, I wanted to puke myself and turned it off. If you have any friends who own this CD, do them a favor and accidentally “lose” it for them. Their ears will thank you.–Stacie Perry