Ozzie Wright vs. Chris Cote: The Interview

Interview-Ozzie Wright

Ozzie Wright is loved and hated. I loved his style and radical approach to surfing, but I had only seen it on video so I still had small pockets of doubt regarding his status as a world famous surfer. It wan’t until recently when I traveled with Ozzie on the Volcom motorhome to Santa Cruz and Morro Bay. We had a lot of good conversations, good parties, and good times. When we eventually got to surf I witnessed an amazingly talented individual. Ozzie is so fast, and sporatic it’s crazy. We surfed a two-foot weird beachbreak that’s turn capacity for a normal human would be maybe three, Ozzie was doing five turns, three, floaters, and two airs per wave. It was shocking, it was entertaing, and most importantly, it was different, Ozzie f-king rules.-C.C.

TransWorld SURF: Why are you so weird?
Ozzie Wright: I’m not weird, you f-kin’ are.

Where are you heading on this journey call life?

When did you realize that you had artistic talents?
I have only a little bit. I have a lot.

No how much?
A little bit.

Tell me about your bunny girl.
We started out just drinkin’ beer. I thought she was real cute and tried to kiss her. She said no, so we went and started dancing on the street outside the pub-eventually we kissed. Later that week, I noticed every time she wore her hoody with ears she became irresistable super sexy lovely. Then Dashenka Prochazka became Bunny Girl, like Bruce Wayne becoming Batman, Peter Parker Spiderman, you know what I mean?

How many pictures of her have you painted?
Actual paintings? Maybe thirty or fifty, but hundreds of drawings and two sculpture things.

I bite my nails, what bad habits do you have?
Sweet tooth, laziness, paranoia, not stretching, reckless driving, neglecting loved ones-actually, those are good ones. Bad ones-drinkin’, smokin’, wrecking, breaking, punching, kinkin’, masturbating.

Do people recognize you when you’re walking around?
Occasionally.Are you famous?
My family knows who I am.

What will happen if you get really, really famous?
Nothing unusual. Wait-everything’s unusual.

Do you make a lot of money?
I forgot to tell you about my website for dope(c)omics. It’s not up now but hopefully when you read this it is. Anyway, you can buy products-useless ones like my single bunny girl killed the kit, which you will buy on vinyl for one hundred dollars and you don’t even have a record player. There, now I’m gonna make a lot of money.

Have you ever ridden in a submarine and will people ever start surfing good switch-stance?
No, and yes.

Do you think people will ever start doing kickflips on surfboards?
I think some dickhead will do one soon. I’m sure Parko could do one first try.

Can you draw horses?How come we’re not at the beach?

Great question. Apparently, Volcom’s motorhome is too big to fit on the street that winds around the streets of big Sur, but we do have band in back there.

Do you do drugs?
In Australia, we wouldn’t ask if you do drugs. We would ask, “Do you take drugs?
” And if you said no you’d be lying.

Do I look fat?
You’re a fat cunt.