Real Beach Hair In One Simple Step

Surfing on your lunch break is better for you than you may think.

Not everyone has the good fortune of being able to surf on their lunch break, and those of us who do don’t take advantage of this golden opportunity enough. Other than making your boring workday that much shorter, giving you exercise, helping bronze your pale skin, and making your boss jealous, surfing at lunch can make your night way better than you ever expected.

By surfing at lunch, you can almost guarantee yourself a good hairstyle the night of said session. I learned this at a hair salon the other day while getting a 30-dollar haircut (that really should’ve been twenty). After the cut, style, and the brushing off of itchy hair from my neck, I was asked if I wanted “beach hair.” So I asked politely, “What’s beach hair?”

My cute stylist (who was accidentally brushing her breasts against my arm during my haircut) laughed and said in a flirty tone, “Beach hair is, like, what your hair’s like after you go to the beach.”

Of course, I obliged her request to beach-out my hair and then was suckered into buying a 35-dollar jar of “beach-hair gel.”

When I got home, my wife was less than pleased with my stupid purchase, stating the fact that I go to the beach all the time anyway, and also reminded me that I’m not supposed to buy any type of styling, shaving, cleansing, or cleaning product without her permission.

My “beach-hair gel” purchase was made even more obsolete by the fact that real beach hair is ten times better than jarred beach hair. My barber (or stylist as she prefers to be called) neglected to mention that if I simply went to the beach and didn’t wash my hair, I would have the cool beach-hair effect I desired since my last haircut, and also the first time I ever heard of “beach-hair.”

Regardless of what your stylist, barber, or Flowbee tells you, “beach hair” can be easily achieved by actually going to the beach. “Beach hair” products may work okay, but they are no substitute for going to the actual beach. Plus, if you have a head of hair full of gel, that first duck dive is going to burn like the raw sting of 10,000 lemons being squeezed into your eye by Hulk Hogan himself.-Chris Cotà‡