The Jock-Itch-Ue

Remember when that big jock threw you into the trash can on the first day of high school? All the sauce from that day’s featured lunch found its way onto your cool new surf shirt, and your hair had rotten lettuce in it. You said you hated jocks, and someday you were gonna get big and kick that guy’s ass. Well, you never grew big enough to beat his ass, but you did secretly leave some dog shit under the door handles of his raised pickup truck.

Now you’re mature enough to see past the torment of your youth, and you can appreciate that that jock is leading a crappy life with hurt knees and a bad temper because he never made the big leagues. Jocks have to play with balls on a field in the middle of a city or out in some pasture, while surfers get to play with waves on tropical islands and beaches around the world.

Jocks think they’re so tough. What would you rather get hit with¿a baseball or a set wave at Teahupoo? I’ll take the fastball to the arm.¿C.C.