Allycontainmentco. Infiltrates Market


Top Pentagon officials have recently gained information regarding the subversive group ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. The whereabouts of this highly volatile group of athletic terrorists remain vague and inconclusive. It is thought that these radicals reside at remote skateparks, mountaintops and beaches across the globe. Information attained by the U.N. Freedom Forces is shocking the International Community.

Following the trail of the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. around the globe has revealed several alarming incidents. The remnants of genetic laboratories were discovered beside a base camp at Mount Everest. It is here where ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. cracked the genetic code that allows the Tibetan mountain porters, Sherpas, the ability to carry loads exceeding their own body weight. Subsequent investigations lead to the Australian Outback where similar labs were found. These labs were used to decipher the genetic disposition of kangaroos that enables their marsupial capabilities.

Furthering the quest to halt Allied operations, Secret Service agents were lead to the Arizona desert where the M.O. of these genetic terrorists followed suit. The armadillo’s impenetrable armor was the target of this act of genetic vandalism.

Until the release of the Ally Manifesto, it was unclear who the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. were and what they intended to do with their diverse genetic knowledge. It has been learned that the DNA strains gained from the acts of genetic vandalism, aka “Stealth Technology”, are being used to compose a seemingly benign product that will change the lives of citizens around the world. This product is conventionally known as the backpack. By choosing to infiltrate the backpack market the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. will fiendishly work their way onto the bodies of America’s greatest resource, our youth.

The plot behind the design of Ally backpacks can only be speculated upon from knowledge of the key players of the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. The group’s ringleader has been uncovered as Alistair Craft. He is regarded as armed and dangerous and should be approached with the greatest level of caution. It has been learned that he was too weak and skinny to participate in team sports in his days as a youth. This exiled him to ride pieces of fiberglass and foam commonly known as surfboards. He and his band of social deviants plotted early on to manipulate the people that had cast them away.

Through his travels in global espionage, Alistair gained association with Doug Smith. For similar reasons, Doug was also exiled to ride planks of wood attached to wheels. He did this for some years until he was noted as one of skateboarding’s washed up athletes, driving Doug deep into the underground.

It was while operating beneath society radar that Alistair and Doug met up with the other key players who would collectively form the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. Aaron Astorga has been acting in the subversive strategies of skateboarding for many years, and has successfully assembled groups of influential leaders in previous movements. It is only logical that he would bring this momentum to ALLYCONTAINMENTCO.’s diabolical deeds.

The seemingly innocent Tina Basich, responsible for igniting the breakaway faction of women snowboarders, is able to disseminate her immoral athleticism through countless pirated TV transmissions and subversive publications. She has assembled an alliance throughout the snowboarding community that can be compared to Castro’s involvement with the Cuban Revolution.

Reportedly involved with Allyco. is Greg “GT” Tomlinson, currently linked to multiple renegade legions in the dense lower region of California and noted for his unmatched ability to distribute propaganda throughout the underground factions.

Evidence of Cec Annett and Bruce Moore have been linked to the acts of genetic vandalism but have not been confirmed. The final instrument in the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. arsenal is the creative agency VerbDNA. It has been reported that this core group has assembled a global legion of professional skateboarders, snowboarders and surfers to promote the membership and growth of this subversive movement (see future brief #ACC42007).

The actions of these criminals can be easily foreseen to conquer the backs of school age children around the world. The initial targets are known to be those who participate in the same deviant recreation as the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO.

If this unfettered attack is not halted it can only lead to the weakening of America’s moral fiber, family values, and National Security. You never know who is working for the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. as they conceal themselves behind the cloak of their skateboards, snowboards and surfboards. Watch your back closely as the Ally backpack has been known to greatly increase the productivity and performance of all outcast Athletes. Evidence of their numbers is still unclear, however unsubstantiated reports indicate those associated with the youth subculture are quick to join the alliance upon first exposure. Heed this warning: THE ALLIANCE IS GROWING!

It is believed by law enforcement officials that the ALLYCONTAINMENTCO. headquarters are located at:719 Swift St. #9, Santa Cruz, CA 95060, PH/FX 8314267248, e-mail, ring leader Alistair Craft